Has it really been over nine years since I posted on my own blog? How the hell did I keep it running this long LOL! Anyways this is a post I started writing for Linked In but it got pretty long winded so I’ll post it here. (I’ll probably still post it there, you can always visit the post there to keep it warm during the upcoming cold winter months)

I figured it might be time to check in… you know, just in case anyone’s missed me.

Today officially marks the eleven-month anniversary of not having a paycheck with my name on it reach my bank account. That’s eleven months of what I like to call “thrilling independence,” also known as “I’m unemployed.”

Over the summer, I went a bit feral. We sold the house we’d bought just 18 months ago back when I still had an income. Cue the chaos of packing up everything (how does one fill a two-story barn in 18 months?), then moving back to the old house I hadn’t sold or—plot twist—remodeled enough to be livable. Between the remodel and the move, it was a solid three-month project.

Not gonna lie, aside from the “no money coming in” bit, it wasn’t a bad summer. I stayed busy, skipped the endless, brain-numbing meetings that could have been emails, and actually lost weight because I didn’t have time to sleep in or indulge in any depression-fueled wallowing. From 5 a.m. to 8 p.m., I was a non-sedentary force of nature.

I missed IBC, ONA, and NYNAB and missed hanging out with my tribe. At least I had some time to process that those wouldn’t be happening this year. Will I make it to CES or NAB? Magic 8 Ball says, “Reply hazy, try again.”

For eleven months, my posts have had the whole “chin-up, stay positive, big smile” thing going on. But truth is, I haven’t even had a single initial phone screen since June, and the bitterness is real—towards recruiters, the industry, former employers, and the ageism everyone keeps insisting isn’t a thing. Honestly, anyone who knows me personally would be shocked I’ve managed to keep my tongue in check this long.

I don’t want to sell MLM insurance, which seems to be every other spam email I get. I want to stay in my industry. I even feel bad that Jason added me as a subject matter expert to a few SVTA working groups—I’ve missed about 95% of the meetings just trying to keep my head above water.

And here I am, at a crossroads. It’s a miracle I’ve made it eleven months, but I’m out of things to sell and the money is gone. (Side note: if you ever feel lonely, just miss a credit card payment or two—suddenly, your phone will make you feel like the most popular person on Earth.) I’ve been learning new tech (MarTech, AI, Python, Rust) and working on some projects (https://liquiti.com, if you’re interested), and even trying some creator gigs, but the desperation is creeping in.

So here I am, as close to begging as I’ll ever get. If you or someone you know has any consulting or contract projects in the streaming media space, OTT, CTV, PM, research, analysis, or digital strategy, please reach out. And feel free to share my profile.

Also, if you’re in the same boat—and I know many of you are, based on past responses—let’s connect and maybe help each other.

I’ll wrap this up the way I always do. I’ll be fine. I’m always fine. It’s just a tad more painful this time getting back to fine.

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